


Movies Shouldn't Exist

by notsoseriousdyl



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 06:57:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3318206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notsoseriousdyl/pseuds/notsoseriousdyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every night this happens, and we still don’t do a thing about it. Hurting each other, physically and mentally. But it’s something we enjoy. Probably ‘cause it sounds like a movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Movies Shouldn't Exist

Movie stories and fairytales were something I just hated to hear Karen talk about. The lovely protagonist always falling in love with the other protagonist, and it always having a beautiful ending with sunshine and rainbows and the fucking music bursting as the couple share a kiss before the credits kick in and millions of person start to cry and clap for the wonderful ‘acting’ that was done. Acting being used very loosely.

I hate to listen to these stories because it’s not something Karen should pay attention to. She should focus on grades, what is wrong and what is right, and make good friends. She shouldn’t be looking up to characters that only care about beauty and money and men. Disgusting men.

But, they put her to sleep at night, in my arms while our parents bicker and throw things. Her voice and imagination, though, is enough to calm even me down from a hard day, and her ability to read is getting a lot better. Hell, I didn’t even know what a word was at her age. So young and reading at a high school level. I’m so proud and amazed.

And as I look at her beautiful, sleeping face, I remember all the hate and evil in the world. The world that she has to grow up in.

I looked out the window. It was pitch black, stars neatly and carefully placed to form strange and various shapes. I like stars. They’re pretty, quiet, unexpected… I guess I can say I’ve always wanted to touch a star. To own a star. To even be a star.

The time suddenly concerned me as I realize that my parents had stopped fighting. I looked over to Karen’s beat up and late clock on her end table(which was actually just an old box). Two in the morning. It’s about time I get going.

So off I went. Out of my sisters hold, to my room, then out the window after a quick change. I don’t trust the ground right now, so I normally jumped the trees. I can’t have anyone finding out where I live, my cover would be blown.

Once I knew I was safe, I jumped out of the trees and started to walk, after fixing my hood and wrapping my cape around me.

Are you confused, yet? I suppose it’s time to introduce myself. My name, at the moment, is Mysterion. I protect this town called South Park, and will stop at nothing to get all these idiots in line. I’m the sworn enemy of all things bad, the best friend of all these justice, and the hero of all things civilized. I am Mysterion.

Though, right now, it seems dark and quiet. Maybe tonight will be a night that I’ll get off. Fantastic. I know that later I will be a bit pissy if I don’t punch something. Or a someone. A certain someone.

Just when I thought I’ve been stood up, two hours into my stake out, I heard a crash and a small squeak like noise.

Off like a rocket I went. Speeding through puddles, spinning around the obstacles in the way, it was like I was in an action movie(which is ironic, considering what I said before about movies).

I finally got there after what felt like a montage of me running. My fists ready to fight and my frown deepening, my eyes scanned the area quickly and carefully. I see a small piece of fabric flapping away before it disappeared with the sound of footsteps.

Ahah. There he is.

I ran after him, excitement now pushing me harder. My athletic ability got twice as better throughout the years. I was too weak to help myself, and now, I can help others. I’m proud of my skills, but this person seemed to have gotten better as well. Normally, I would of caught him by now. But it seems the other had lead me to the pond without so much as a sweat. Time to pick up the heat.

Bringing and forcing my legs to go faster, I stretched my arms out and tackled the other boy. He yelped, and we rolled around for a good two seconds before I flipped him, pinning him to the grassy ground. My eyes highlighted with overwhelming feeling of complete satisfaction at the sight of my moral enemy, Professor Chaos.

He looked confused. About ready to cry, until he remembered what was happening and glared up at me, “Misterion,” he said in his low, nasal like sounding voice, “we meet again.”

"It appears so," I replied, getting off him and taking a few steps back. I watched him carefully as he stood up, dusting himself. His eyes never left the battle of cold stares with mine. We sprung into action.

Punching, kicking, doing the same thing over and over again. It was starting to get hot under my hood, but that only made me go harder. I didn’t stop until I actually landed a punch right at his face. The fall happened in slow motion, watching him fall down, down… it was almost painful for me. He landed with the air knocked out of him, staring up at the night sky. His cheek was already starting to form a bruise. I waved my hand to rid of the stinging feeling.

Professor Chaos sat up, tears at his eyes as he spat blood and raised a hand to touch his sore face. He winced, and I felt terrible. His brown eyes looked up and bounced all over me, like he couldn’t believe what just happened. But before I could apologize when I saw the tears finally let go, his counter attack hit. He swung his leg out, tripping me. My head hit the hard ground, and I saw stars. I felt someone climb on top of me, and when I looked, a punch was my only greeting.

Then another.

I could feel the blood start to trickle down, and I have no idea where it was coming from. I didn’t relax until I felt the weight be lifted from my body. I sat up slowly, traveling my eyes up at the standing villain.

His clothes were ruined, hat like crown crooked and the redness on his face turned into full on swallowing. He was breathing harder than I was, hate and anger just pouring out of his body. His mouth moved, but I couldn’t hear him. I could only hear the high pitched ringing going on. Where was that coming from? It was getting so loud, too loud. I shut my eyes and placed my hands over my head. It was like it was coming from inside my brain. Getting worse and worse. Professor Chaos had, by now, gotten on his knees and put his hands on my shoulder, probably trying to see if I was alright. That always seems to be his thing, breaking out of character.

I remember thinking how annoying he was before I completely knocked out. The ringing noise finally came to a stop.

I awoke to the feeling of something tighten around my head. My first thought was something was attacking me, so I was immediately put on guard. Opening my eyes, I relaxed a little too much for my comfort at the sight of huge, worried brown eyes. A little puffy from, what I can remember as, crying and looking like he could start again any minute now.

He had taken his hat off, his messy, blonde hair now free to be everywhere. Which meant he was no longer Professor Chaos.

Dammit, Butter. You never knew how to play the game right.

"Oh..." he said when he finally realized I was awake. About time. "Are you okay, Ken? I-I'm so sorry, that was a mighty fall you did there. I... I didn't mean'ta... 'ta hurt you or nothin'..."

The fact that Butters, of all people, could hurt me really made me sick. And the fact that he didn't mean to hurt me at all. Disgusting.

But, I suppose I have to give him credit. He was no longer the short, lanky little nine year old of the past. Though he isn't built, he was still more fit than others. But I was stronger. I have to be.

I thought it was about time to get my head out of his lap and look around. From what I can see in the poorly lite room, we were at his house, "Way to stay in character, Butters," I frowned, raising a hand to rub my aching head. I feel my hood off and a bandage around me, so I have my super villain a confused look.

Under this gaze he wiggled, pushing his knuckles together in his natural nervous habit, "Sorry," he mumbled, returning my frown, "I... I didn't mean to ruin our fight, but you were hurt pretty bad. Bleeding a little, too," his voice was soft and low, like he was afraid of getting caught. He most likely was, "a-and, you were knocking completely out. I was so worried..."

It was a nice thought, but that doesn't mean I wasn't irritated. With a sigh of defeat, I sent him a troubling glance, which caused him to sing even further to the floor, "Thanks... I guess," I added quickly to make it seem like I wasn't at all saying thanks. I'm an asshole like that, apparently. I held my eyes with his for a few more seconds before looking away, my hand now picking at the bandage.

Butters slapped it, though, causing my hand to stink. I narrowed my eyes at they swung back to him, who just gave my scolding gaze right back, "Don't pick at it," he said, putting a finger up like he was my mother, "you'll open the wound back up."

"What wound?"

"You're nose was bleeding."

I shook my head at him. Obviously this was not a time to argue. This was a time to leave. It was four in the morning now, a guestimate. I remember now that I looked around at the calendar that we have school in the morning.

Deciding this was the right moment, I stood up, ignoring the protests of my body and Butters, making my way to his window. I looked back at him before opening my mouth, "Stop taking care of me and start taking care of yourself. What would people say if they saw Professor Chaos carrying Mysterion to safety?" He paused, "You should see your face right now. It's horrible."

At this, Butters placed a hand over his still swollen and bruised cheek, jumping at the pain that should of came and rushed to a nearby bathroom. I took this as an opportunity to get out of there.

The next day, Butters looked happy and healthy, as if he had his full hours of sleep and was never in a fight at all. While I looked terrible, as if I fought with millions and didn't sleep for days. I don't know how he does it.

I wonder.

Is this how it feels like to be in a movie? Two potential friends fighting at night, though we both know who with, and try to make it last for as long as it can. For the soul reason that it's fun and we both love it?

I honestly don't know if I  love the fighting, of the fact that the fighting is with Butters, more. The happy, lucky little scamp. Now a deadly and crime making monster. The fact that I am the only one to see it, too. If you can't already tell, I like my enemy. Why else would I dress in a costume and go out fighting with a not so venomous villain every night when I can be doing actual crime fighting with real criminals and live an actual hero's life? For shits and giggles? Yeah, no.


End file.
